August 13, 2009
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It doesn’t make sense to me.
I mean, yes I know it’s “for my own good” and that they’re just “protecting me.” I “live under their roof” so I have to “follow their rules.” BUT HONESTLY. I’m leaving for New York in less than three weeks, without any guidance at all from them. My parents are overly strict, and it honestly makes no sense.
I still have curfew. Not any curfew. Not like your normal white kid’s curfew at 1am. I have to be home at 11pm. What an absurd curfew. I have no idea how it started, because I remember coming home much later than that before with no problems, but now if I’m not home in time I get several nasty phone calls and a questioning lecture when I get home. Then, I must provide the numbers of the people I claim to be with. I’m not allowed to leave the house after it gets dark either, because it’s too late. I’m never going to see these people again, and time is expiring rapidly. Do I really have to cut our outings short?
And on top of that, my parents still dictate who I’m friends with. People of the male gender are out of the question, with an exception (note “an”). My parents are also very wary of me hanging out with white girls, which makes no sense since I live in Nebraska for god’s sake. They watch too much TV and think all of them are like the girls from spring break shows. And then they tell me not to hang out with too many Vietnamese kids, because trust them, they know what they’re like. Filipino kids? Mexicans? Blacks? No, no, and no. I left out other ethnicities, because I don’t run into them on a regular basis. However, my parents have already told me to avoid: Chinese kids and Korean kids, due to unrequited Viet/Chinese hate and my mom finding out that Koreans that can’t get a girl find a Viet girl, marry them, treat them terribly, and beat them. I guess all I have left are Japanese people…. Only because Sony is my dad’s favorite brand. wtf.
Recently I got a new laptop for school. Why, yes, it is a VAIO. They still monitor my activity. Chatting with people? No. Facebook? Let me see. What are you looking at? Who’s that email from? What are you playing? BLAH BLAH BLAH.
So my parents have serious trust issues with me, which I find to be completely ironic.
Comments (29)
just yell at them “I wanna rock!” and see what happens.
that sucks. i’m filipino and black. =P does that mean we can’t be at all? my best friend has the same problem. curfew is at 11 pm. but if we’re at her house hanging out, we have to be out by 11. It’s pretty lame. and my family has always wanted me to stay away from mexicans (but i live in southern california) and theyre only okay if i date filipino/white girls. i don’t listen to them. i tell that the more prejudice they are, the more bad karma they’ll get. anyways, i hope things start looking up for you? new york is AMAZING. i loved it there.
hahha just look at the bright side, you’ll be gone in until 3 weeks, and you WILL probably miss your parents after a while (yeah, shocking right!?)
i noe the feeling… i’m in college and i still feel trapped whenever i’m home… but it’s gotten a little bit better nowadays
im exactly the same. its MUCH better after you move away for university. my parents are die-hard traditional chinese. i’ve lived in canada since i was 3, and they still do exactly the same things you say. when im at home, my curfew is 9:30PM – sucks more than you eh? and i have to give them numbers of my friends that im out with. i tried to lie about who im out with a few times, but it just got so tiring of sneaking around that i decided to tell the truth. and even though my curfew sucks at least my parents are thining: “she’s such a good daughter…if shes half an hr late and comes home at 10PM, i guess its okay. but she still has to call” kinda thing. it definitely sucks when ur friends go out till 2-3AM and ur just begging to stay out till 12AM. ahhh life…
@dearFLOPPY - ahh 9:30? oh dear. you do have it worse than me. >.<
yup. but here’s the thing, i used to lie about EVERYTHING so my parents had a hard time with my exes and all. it seemed like there was always something they could find wrong with whatever i was doing. one day in my first year i told my mom i’d like to stop lying to her, and be honest with her about everything. even boyfriends. i told her i needed her to be on my side from now on, not against me. and the good thing about it was my mom would tell my dad everything i told her, so this time around (3rd yr uni) when i met my current boyfriend, it wasn’t so hard for them to accept him. i hope you don’t do what i did (with the whole lying fiasco), and if you don’t, keep it up (cause i know how hard it is NOT to), but if you DO, stop stop STOP right now and pull your mom aside, and honestly want to be better. it definitely helped me with my relationship with them, and my friends. the most i included my parents in my life, talked to them about my GOOD friends even if they’ve never met before, the better. i should really stop cluttering up your page with long comments, LOL.
@dearFLOPPY - haha. no worries! i lie a lot. >.< only so i can go out though.
ah I cant’ imagine how it is for girls lol. From the parents view’s, they have to protect the daughter from the rest of the world, but for the son. They just don’t want him knockin up some girl haha. You’ll have a lot more freedom when you move away.
superstitions lol.My dad went to a fortune teller when he was young. Teller told him his wife is Chinese and in USA. My dad immediately dumps his korean gf in Taiwan and gets a 1-way ticket to USA, and finds my mom and marries her within 3 months of meeting her (he’s fast). And he did it without knowing her contact info (he did ask for her number to the horror of the fortune teller…)
I can totally relate to your blog! Like yourself, I lie to get out too. I’ve noticed that they ease up on my curfew when I’m with friends but when I’m with my boyfriend they usually want me home by ten (which is understandable). Still, when you’re nineteen you can’t help but feel a little trapped. Especially since I know I’ll be living here for the next six years. I want to be moved out by then.Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for this blog – it made me feel less alone! Haha.
that really sucks. i remember my days where it was similar to that… not nearly as strict, but i still have a curfew. i’m 20 years old. FML.
How old are you?I think that’s how most of the Asian parents are like.My parents don’t really tell me when to come back home or so, but I guess it’s because I, myself, don’t go out at night. I don’t know what they would say if I did.I remember that it was when I was 16, that I got home late, and my father told me not to go out after 8PM. And I was only in our neighborhood at that time.I’m 23 now and we don’t really have to be in such kind of conversations anymore. But I have one friend who’s almost 24 and still have to face with such kind of issues.Her parents and her aunts listen to her phone conversation if the person on the other side is a male. I guess that’s worse, right?She’s half Chinese.
i hear ya sister. I am 21 years old and have an apartment at schooland when i come home for breaks or just to visit, i still have a curfew.
haha college will be….. fun. to say the least.
oye~give it time, or rebel like a mothafucka~~!(just passing thru)
/patpat
oh man, that is rough. i cant say anything because i am not in your situation, but it seems like every vietnamese catholic girl i know has an early curfew/lockdown. tell your parents that japanese men are either too hard working that their companies have baby-making policies or they are into very freaky stuff. at this rate, I think your parents want you to be single until they arrange a suitible vietnamese guy for you. can you joke around with them and say if you do not make any male friends you may turn to girls?
@MistMana - HAHAHA. if i made that joke, i will forever be damned.
i usually tell my parents my guy friends are gay or going out with one of my friends. –mostly gay though. haha.
@longdrivesbrowneyess - problem with that is that my parents are catholic.
@XoAsianBabioX - hmm. then go with the boyfriend thing? or is that still a big no?
AND I THOUGHT MY PARENTS SUCK ASS FOR NOT LETTING ME HAVE A GUY IN MY ROOM…
@longdrivesbrowneyess - i’m not allowed to date. hahaha.
“I guess all I have left are Japanese people…. Only because Sony is my dad’s favorite brand. wtf. ”LOL.
This is actually funny. Just make sure you don’t go too crazy with your newly found freedom in college. A small state girl like you vs NY. Good luck
Not extra strict, just Vietnamese/Asian.You will be a better adult for it though you may not appreciate it for a few more years.You will have learned to BE an adult. Many Americans remain children all their lives. America should thank your parents profoundly.
What Asian parents don’t know – and that goes for Koreans, Japanese, Viet, Chinese, etc. – is that they’re exactly like all other Asian parents. I don’t know why they’re all so racist to each other (my parents are just like that too). They should all be best buddies on that fact alone, so they can oppress all their children together.
this sounds like what my life was like when I was in H.S.ohh how its a curse and a blessing to be viet.and I was reading one of your earlier post……Noone thinks I look viet either and I always take offense to itt…