January 16, 2013
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Too Soon?
Tomorrow marks two official months with my boyfriend. His mom is leaving for Taiwan and won’t be returning until March so he’s going home to New Jersey to spend time with her before she leaves.
And he invited me to come along. While I’m extremely touched that he wants to introduce me to his mom, I can’t help but wonder if it’s too soon. I mean, this means he is taking this relationship seriously, but is it too soon?
Comments (23)
Did you go into this not knowing what you want?
I don’t think two months is too soon. He probably has a great feeling about the relationship, and for him to have you meet his mom is probably honorable. If you feel that you’re not quite ready to jump in that far yet, you can politely decline and maybe set another time to meet (maybe with another family member). One of my past relationships, the girlfriend at the time introduced me to her parents about 3 weeks into the relationship. It’s just a matter of the feel of the relationship. All relationships are different, so don’t let the “social norm” dictate what or when it has to be done.
It sounds like a fun trip however 2 months is not very long to be seeing somebody so I would also be concerned about it. It is cool he seems into the relationship but I think you now need to figure out if you are committed as well. If you feel you are committed then why not go and enjoy a trip with him?
Will there be free food?
I would say being asian (and particularly taiwanese from jersey), its fine to meet the parents, even after 2 months. I suspect its part of it is the culture, where family is important…so its sometimes used as a “litmus test” of some ways to see how the SO behaves around the company of the family. It probably would be a good experience for you too, where you see more of his background and what influences his life.
I remember the weeks of anxiety I had before meeting his parents. I kept pushing it off but 2 and a half months in, I met them. I also got incredibly drunk too since Cakalusa was there. Can’t imagine it’d be that bad for you, nor is it strange to meet them at this point. Chinese/Taiwanese families tend to want to meet their children’s SOs pretty early on in the relationship.
never too soon!
I don’t think it’s too soon, but it’s up to you if you want to meet her this soon. Does his mom know what he’s invited you to come along? If she doesn’t know then I would definitely not go and surprise her. She might want to spend time with just her son. If she is aware that you have been invited and is ok with it then you should be perfectly fine to go. However, if you do not feel comfortable about this (and there will be awkward moments between you and the mother) then you should politely decline.
I proposed to my wife after knowing her for 8 weeks, so I don’t thibk two months is too soon to meet his family, but only you can decide if it’s too soon for you. Best of luck!!!
You can decline but I suggest not to. He invited you to come along which may mean his mom knows about you and may want to see you, so to decline may not make you look so good.If his mom does not know about you yet, that would be a better circumstance for you to be able to decline. One thing I know is that if the parents know about you and want to see you, no matter how unprepared you are or how you feel, as an Asian you should respect their request and see them and do your best to give a good if not decent impression. To decline can be seen as disrespectful and may make your relationship hard, especially if things are going well with your SO.To me, you never know if someone’s parents are traditional or holds certain traditional values unless told otherwise or unless you see it for yourself, so assume someone’s parents can be traditional and act accordingly until you get to know them better.
Too soon man!
i don’t think it’s too soon at all; i agree with what laytexduckie said. i think it’s great that he wants to introduce you to his mom; it speaks novels about your boyfriend and what he thinks of your relationship. however, go with how you feel in your gut.
as long as his mom knows he invited you.
It’s only too soon if you don’t feel comfortable meeting her.
i know some guys who are just very open about their families with their girlfriends, and bring new girlfriends to meet family like new guests. still doesn’t discount the fact that he wanted you to meet them. =)
Does introducing one’s parents really mean they are serious, though?
Just saw this on top blogs thought I’d throw my two cents in
2 months isn’t very long, but maybe it’s a cultural thing. I know a few Taiwanese people and went over there recently and they’re so family oriented it might not be as ‘serious’ as it is to you. I’d be a bit scared though, I’m a bit of a commitment-phobe though haha good luck.
This would be really weird but is the guy you’re dating named Jeff by any chance…? Because he’s sort of my relative.
@just_wannaLIVE - you’re joking. -.- yes my bfs name is jeff.. But how did you even come to that conclusion ?
And in response to everyone’s comments, I’m definitely comfortable in going. I’m very committed and its exactly what I want. I just wanted to get a feel on what everyone else felt about meeting the parents.
it might just be fun, and a good look into his more personal life? lol
@eatdrinkandbemaryy - I know he got a new girlfriend recently and that she’s the same year at NYU as me (which you are).. and his mom is going to Taiwan–lol! This is too funny.
@just_wannaLIVE - x.x hahahhaha. wow what a coincidence!