So our honeymoon period is over, and we got into a fight.  Not really a fight, but he did something that really annoyed me, so I brought it to his attention.  He did it again, and I was pissed and let him know.  We solved it calmly, he apologized and understood what he did was wrong, but he kept saying, “Thanks for being so straightforward and honest.  I really like that.”  Well, honestly, I wasn’t being honest for him.  I was just so upset that I needed to say something.  I mean, no way in hell was I going to put up with that.  He needed to know now that what he was doing had to stop before we’re ten months in and he’s still doing it and I blow up at him out of nowhere.  

That’s exactly why he thanked me.  I’m just assuming that his last girlfriend did that, but I don’t get it.  If something annoys me enough for me to visibly be upset, why would I keep it to myself?  I mean, I know how to pick and choose my battles, but why would anyone just let someone treat them in a way that’s hurtful?  It needs to be acknowledged and fixed, cuz ain’t nobody got time for that passive-aggressive shit.  And by now, I have zero tolerance.  I’m not going to put up with being treated in a way that hurts me.  If I don’t bring it up now, I’m just letting him off the hook, and he’ll continue to upset me.  On top of that, I don’t want to get into full-fledged arguments anymore.  They’re so emotionally and physically draining.  Plus, I look really ugly crying, and Kleenex is fucking expensive.  Calm communication is key.  

One time I was left alone in his apartment, and being an internet addict I use his computer to go online.  I got bored and remembered my unrestricted access.  

What did I do?  Look through computer to find his porn stash.  Hey, I was really just curious what he was into.  Unfortunately I found nothing.  :[  I even looked through his internet history to see if he streamed or not.  I so disappoint.

Tonight was my first real night out in a while.  I have quit drinking for health reasons for a while now, so I haven’t really had a reason to join my friends at our usual spot lately.  Tonight I came out with my girlfriend just for the hell of it.  I didn’t drink (other than two shots that were forced upon me).  But something happened tonight that got me wondering.

At this place I go to, I’m bound to get hit on.  Not being conceited, but it’s a sausage fest.  I really don’t know why since the perk of this lounge is that the bartenders are all hot guys.  Anyway, every time I’m there I’m hit on in an extremely persistent manner by both drunk and sober guys.  So as per usual, a guy hits on me.  I think the reason why I’m thinking about this is that he hit on me in the most juvenile way, like he watches too much How I Met Your Mother or something.  Now most guys will just start up a normal conversation with me but not this guy.  This guy tapped me on my arm and initially introduced me to his friend, who was apparently turning 29 that day.  It was quite obvious that wasn’t true judging by the look on his friend’s face.  He was obviously using his friend as a pawn to open up a conversation with me.  I wished his friend a happy birthday and returned to my conversation with my friends.  He interrupted me for a second time saying, “It’s his birthday.  You’re not going to tell him your name?”  I told him, “If you asked me for my name, I would tell you my name.”  I had a short conversation with him and his friend, and I honestly didn’t like where the conversation was going, so I turned back around to finish my conversation with my girlfriend.  He interrupted me for a third time, saying the birthday boy bought me a shot.  I declined vehemently, but he insisted since the birthday boy was buying me a shot.  /eyeroll

Now, I haven’t really been out since I started dating my boyfriend, but I knew that if he became even more persistent, I would have to pull the “Look, I have a boyfriend” card on him.  But honestly, I made it very clear I wasn’t interested, turning my full back to him, closing him away from my line of sight.  This guy wasn’t even near drunk.  And this has happened multiple times before, where I will turn away from a conversation only to have the same guy insist on continuing a dying conversation.  Why do guys (people) do this?  Has anyone been successful in being persistent in this way?  I mean, it’s like putting a dollar in a broken vending machine, and when nothing comes out you put more money into it three or four more times.  In what other way can I show that I’m not interested without immediately telling them I have a boyfriend.  I just feel sometimes that can be too pretentious, so I’d rather save that if I can’t get them off my back.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I had someone like that.  I’ve always had friends I could bitch and rant to, who will offer me perspective, but not friends who will make me feel like things will be okay.  None of my past boyfriends ever offered me that either.  While I dated my first two boyfriends, I was fixated on the notion that my emotions would be nothing but a burden (still true) that I never once sought them for comfort.  My last boyfriend didn’t do shit for me emotionally.  I would straight up tell him I needed someone to talk to, and he would tell me he was shopping and didn’t even think to dial my number.  This one, this one I find so much comfort in.  I promise I won’t take advantage of it.