August 7, 2012

  • Overdone

    You know when you order a steak medium, and it comes out well done?  You try to appreciate it because you know, it’s still steak after all.  You find parts of it  juicy and delicious, but for the most part it’s tough to chew. 

    That’s the perfect analogy for my story.  
    In my previous post, I mentioned I went on a date.  I met this guy about two and a half weeks ago while out with friends.  He was a friend’s friend, so when he asked for my number, I wasn’t extremely reluctant.  (On top of that I was trying to get another guy jealous/pissed off, but that’s a whole different story.)  He called me to go out the next weekend and he was so gentlemanly.  We went out clubbing, he paid for absolutely everything (which included four $8 water bottles), and when I was throwing up in KTown, he held my hair and got in a cab with me.  He let me sleep on his lap in the cab, and he carried me from the cab to my apartment, gave me a hug, and headed back to KTown.  Being as nice as he was, I readily accepted when he asked me to dinner.
    The date was the most perfectly planned date I’ve ever been on.  We go to One if by Land, Two if be Sea, which is one of the most romantic restaurants in the city.  I already figured it was too much, but he insisted.  He picked me up with a beautiful bouquet of white roses, and we ordered from the regular menu, not the less tasty Restaurant Week menu.  Prior to picking me up, he got me a red velvet cake, dropped it off at the restaurant, and surprised me by having the waitress bring it out at midnight, exactly my birthday.  He dropped me off, asked me for a second date, which I said yes to, and kissed me on the forehead and left.
    But this is where things go wrong.  
    The next day, he leaves an extremely cheesy video on my wall wishing me happy birthday.  Sort of marking his territory, like he was a dog pissing all over my Facebook.  I had gone on one date with this guy and had known him for only about a week and a half, so understandably, I was extremely embarrassed.  I couldn’t even bring myself to watch the video.  I eventually took it down because I was so embarrassed over it.  
    The day after that, he sends flowers to my office.  I barely know this guy.  I had to pick them up at the front desk and carry them through the office to my desk.  Everyone was asking me who sent me flowers, is he my boyfriend, and honestly, he was nothing to me, so it was just all too embarrassing saying it was a guy I’ve been on one date with.  And furthermore, he expected me to carry that on the subway during rush hour home. 
    I’m not really one for cheese.  I love sweet gestures, but cheesy stuff makes me feel very uncomfortable.  I’ve even told him that, and he continued to do those things.  He bought flowers on top of flowers for me to the point where I have nowhere to keep them.  He’s trying to shortcut his way to being my boyfriend by forcing all this stuff on me.  On top of that, I’ve learned from friends that this guy has a bad reputation.  I’m not entirely sure what it entails, but it’s either he’s a player or he’s just creepy.  Either way, it makes me very reluctant to open up to him.  He knows my reservations, and he retorts with, “Any other girl would be in love with me by now.”  The thing is, so what?  You don’t continue doing something I’ve openly expressed I don’t like figuring I’ll like it eventually.  
    We have a date planned for this Sunday.  He’s already planned it out.  Unsure of how all this will pan out, but we’ll see. 

Comments (38)

  • Remember, I’m always plan B.Look for the guy with a newspaper, fedora, fake mustache, and trenchcoat sitting at the neighboring table. Yawn once if things are okay. Yawn twice if you need me to make a scene and get you out of there.

  • Can’t see anything going wrong.

  • one good thing is that…he does the planning so you dont have to go through the mental work? and that that…he is very persistent…? either way…if he keeps doing this it might be creepy. home boys gotta back down. …or at least keep you busy til i get to go on a date with u.

  • It sure looks like he’s rushing into things. Curious – what does he do for a living? 

  • lol he sounds like he expects you to already be falling for him head over heels, and the fact that you’re taking a lil longer actually throws him off. just keep your eyes open for this upcoming date, maybe it was just a one-off :)

  • Someone’s trying to make you his wifey.  I’d run away if I were you.

  • huge red flag if he disregards your feelings, despite his intentions being “good.” hope the date goes well though :)

  • I am not a fan of cheesy things either. My ex boyfriend did an uber cheesy thing once after a big fight … instead of making things better, it just pushed me even further away because I thought he should have known I wouldn’t appreciate it. See how this next date goes and judge it from there. He sounds a bit full on, though.

  • Can I have his #? Thanks!

  • PICCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

  • how is sending flowers to your work cheesy?@BenelliMan - I know right?I can understand the facebook thing.is there something I’m missing? 

  • I guess I understand now.There is a degree to which romantic/gentlemanly comes off to you as cheesy.It is like eating too much of a food that is rich in flavor. first you’re like “mmm that’s good”, but then too much of it and you are like “ugh I think I’m going to be sick”-sigh- women.

  • The guy can be as “romantic” as he can be. But you can’t force chemistry.

  • Damn, what a baller. He should have kept it simple though. McDonalds… ON A BOAT.

  • I’m picturing that episode in Friends where Ross buys all these roses, chocolates and stuff toys for Rachel and sends a singing quartet at work to let her boss know she’s taken.

  • run away.  fast.  and don’t look back.  dead serious. 

  • “Any other girl would be in love with me by now.”well then he should go fir those girls then…you are not any other girl! One who disregards your feelings is not one worth keeping. juss sayin’.  Sometimes you get tired of overdone steak and just want the steak at the correct temperature you ordered! =D

  • Lol, this is why the saying goes, “nice guys never get laid”.

  • girls like the game.  they want guys to do this for them 2 years later but not now. i still dont understand why.  i guess the perspective is if a guy is quality he doesnt need to do this or he is coming off to strong which makes him look desperate.  a smart girl needs to see through that and see how the guy will be into the future.  

  • Must not have learned that communication with partner bit yet.  

  • Sounds like things started off well, but now he’s coming on a bit strong and his disregard in respecting your comfort zone is a bit of a red flag. In the end, if you don’t feel that it’s right, he can’t force it. Just because someone showers you with compliments or gifts, if the chemistry isn’t there, it just isn’t there. Good luck.

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  • Mmm cliche dates. Exactly what every New Yorker wants. I scoff at the sight of flowers.

  • I’m not a fan of cheesy stuff either, not to mention roses, which die quickly. I’d rather get a cactus which I can grow instead. :P

  • sound like bad news to me, the guy, that is.

  • One if by Land, Two if by Sea on the first date? dag. 

  • hahah I guess that’s why it worked out between me and my bf..he’s KINDA like that guy but no bad rep supers sweet and a bit cheesy but he doesnt send flowers to my work place or anything LOL.. but he marked his territory fast~ good thing I liked him back a lot too haha our mutual friend who introduced us as a blind date told me that any other girl would’ve ran away by now LOL! 

  • @SoullFire - he’s a consultant.  why do you ask?@BenelliMan - @SlackerSociety - @mr_jin_tonic - @Manbeast -  the thing is he’s not a nice guy!  i honestly do date nice guys, but he’s being overwhelming.  i mean, i knew him for 2 weeks, and within two days of the first date he was already sending me flowers at work?  wouldn’t you think that’s a bit creepy and overbearing?  plus he’s already being very very possessive, although he knows i’m not really interested yet.  on top of that, the way he’s throwing money at me makes it feel so insincere and that he’s just doing all he can to get into my pants, not that he actually truly likes me.@Cucumber_Melonhead - @Proud2B2003 - @buiptammy - @suuperstar - it’s like he expects a specific reaction out of me, and that he’s not getting what he wants, he’s just giving me more and more of what i don’t like.  i don’t even get it, especially after i told him no already.

  • If any other girl would be in love with him by now, then he should probably go find another girl.  Any girl will do.    If he’s really interested in you, then he would show an interest in your likes and dislikes.  Sounds like he’s trying to impress his way into your pants.

  • @eatdrinkandbemaryy - The way he is throwing money around, I thought he might be an IB or trader. Consultants are not known for bringing in bank.

  • Unless milking him for all he’s worth is your goal (that is your prerogative, caveat emptor after all) you should thank him for the great dates, but respectfully decline this and every further date.  The kind course of action is to let him know there’s no chance and release him to ply his trade by blowing his money on some other fish in the sea.

  • That “any girl would’ve been in love with me by now” reminded me of a guy I know.  Man, he sounds cocky. 

  • Perfect in person.v—-

  • how the sunday date go?

  • Hey, new visitor to your blog. Anyway, disregarding everything else, any guy who says “Any other girl would be in love with me by now.” is a creeper and you need to get the hell away from him ASAP.

  • Have you seen the Youtube show K-Town? It’s ridiculous to the point of hilarity.

  • Just a thought, but I’d drop him and run, quickly.  My granny had a saying about guys like him, “if they’re trying that hard to catch you, it must mean they can’t catch anyone else easily.”   If he had even a little respect for you, he’d abide by your wishes.

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