March 2, 2011
-
When An Ex Comes Back Into Your Life
All of a sudden, I received a chat from an ex. Now this ex, I haven’t talked to for over a year, and the last time we talked I cursed him out for being a shady, disappointing asshole. To say the least, we had a really messy break-up. And at that point, I was done with him. I didn’t think we’d talk again, nor did I want to.
But when I received the chat, I stared puzzlingly at it. I was webcamming with my current boyfriend when I got it, and he asked me what was with the face. I told him that my ex just hit me up. I’m sure my boyfriend was/is bothered by it (even though he said he wasn’t), but I assured him nothing was to come of this. My ex and I had casual conversation. He completely disregarded our past and at the same time subtley showed fond feelings for me. I did, however, make it very clear I had a boyfriend and that I was very happy with him. When I had to go, he asked me to talk to him again. I responded with a maybe.
This situation is a delicate one for me. Firstly, I’m a person of appearances. I have a huge pride, and I hate to show any compromising feelings. I didn’t want to seem bitter (and for that fact, I am not bitter) so I continued conversation with him. And since then, he’s tried to talk to me twice, and I’ve responded but had to go quickly. But the thing is, he’s very manipulative. When we were talking, before we dated, we had this on and off relationship, meaning at random times he’d disappear from my life completely, then pop up again via chat. He’s always had this way of getting me to miss him, and he does it all purposefully. He’s also pretty selfish. So when he said he missed me, he had to talk to me, without any regard to my life and what was going on.
I’m happy as I am right now. I love my boyfriend, and he loves me, and my life has only gotten better since my ex left. I don’t want to get caught up with his mind games anymore, but at the same time, I don’t want it to seem that I still have unrequited feelings for him or that I’m bitter. As it stands now, I’ll probably tell him exactly how I feel, that I only talk to him because I’m friendly, but he really isn’t someone I want in my life.
Comments (6)
Or just don’t talk to him?
I have a very similar situation right now. Only I am the person who was responsible for the break-up, and he was too sad to continue speaking with me. Now he says that “he’s over it”, and he wants to continue being friends. I ended the relationship for a reason, and that reason was not that I wanted to continue being best friends. And I am now caught in this awkward situation, when I do not know whether I should act pleased that he finally forgave me, or if I should tell him straight up how things are. For the record, both of us have new boyfriends and girlfriends, so I don’t think that this is about getting back together. But I think I’ll take your advice and simply tell him everything straight up. Interesting post, by the way
delete him off the chat?
@nomilktoday - even then he can contact me. and at the same time,@coolmonkey - if i don’t talk to him, i look bitter. =___=
I think it’s time to cut the cord. Other then you feeling like you are not being a bitter bitch about the situation, I don’t see any possible good that can come out of continuing to talk to this guy. I think the best thing would be to say, hey we had our time, some was great, some not so great, and I have no regrets but it’s time for us to go our seperate ways and not look back.
Hey I am in a similar situation right now. What you can do is to cut him off from your life and try not to think of him anymore. There’s a reason he’s an ex, try not to make him an ex-tra stress in your life. You do not need anymore.Just happiness and love.Best wishes!:)