December 24, 2009
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Empowerment
So this is an update on my situation with the ex-boyfriend. It came down to my pride. And he was stomping all fcking over it.
I used to be a very prideful person, and I took pride in that, although most people would be ashamed. I used to be an unemotional, detached, player-like girl, and I loved it. He changed that in me and turned me into a sap. I miss my cynical self, and I want it back.
So I became extremely attached to this guy. And so when he told me he really wanted to talk to me, I agreed. After time went by, he became cold and getting back together became an evident false hope. I clung onto it for a while, making excuses for him, just hoping, maybe it’ll all be back to how I wanted it to be. However, he continued to be cold. I felt like he couldn’t man up and tell me the truth, nor could he be straightforward with me. So I called it off. I’m not waiting around for him like a puppy and losing my dignity. I will not talk to him again, unless it’s when he’s picking up his shit he left at my dorm.
And if that takes too long, his shit goes in the trashcan. That’s the last time I put someone’s pride over mine.
Comments (32)
Good for you
good work! just dont become an emotionless robot or refuse to “take that leap” in a relationship. that “leap” is necessary or else any relationship is doomed for failure.
It is odd how love overcomes even pride.I consider myself also to be a prideful person, only setting aside it ever once in my life for a girl whom I dearly loved. she stomped all over it too.The worst part is that people who do that don’t realize what they are doing to you.This is why I promise to take an “outsider looking in” approach to relationships from now on. Or at least, if I’m ever in a relationship again.But I will have to admit, if I ever get one again that I want, I’ll have more than enough perception to keep it (well, until she just wants to randomly leave like the last girl)But back to you, its an odd occurrence for a female to have pride, which puts you well above many in terms of personality. Okay, not odd, but rare, rather.I’m not gonna feed you bullshit about “oh theres more fish in the sea” “or you’ll get over it” because even if breakups happen overnight, getting over it doesn’t.
@Gerald_Washington - very wise words. i always saw what was happening, and i knew what it looked like on the outside. i just consciously ignored it, or wishfully think that he could change.
I felt like I was on the same boat. I would swallow my pride and call her over and over, because she just stopped calling. All her answers were one word answers, and she started flaking out on lot of our plans. You get to that certain point, and you ask yourself if this is really worth the struggle. I wish people would be more honest with their feelings. If they aren’t interested, just be up front about it… It would save myself and yourself a lot of the grief and pain. No need to drag out something that isn’t working, or something that you clearly don’t want… *sigh
In other bright news, have a Merry Christmas.
@ThePeterPanComplex - i read your letter on your page. i wrote one too, and emailed it to him. that’s how i ended up telling him that i was done waiting for him. basically mine said the same thing, except more angry and bitter. i guess you’re just a bit more eloquent with your words. haha. merry christmas to you too!
Hi i just randomly click ur page and read ur entry about ur ex-bf ehehehe……….i totally agree with you about how u not going to sit there and wait for him and lose ur pride!! i wish i can do the same but it seem so hard to let go eheheh…….good luck and be happy =)….Kate
i hate when people step all over me.
These boots were made for walkin’Congrats on being on top blogs
pride can get in the way of doing what’s right…. it always does for me, thats why I have no gf. that and i don’t have a job lol
good for you! be a strong, independent woman!it kind of sounds like my situation too… but i got the fuck over it. high fucking five!
It may have made for a crummy Christmas, but think of the fun you can have in the coming year as you enjoy relearning your cynical player-like ways.
wow. i really needed to read something like this to remind myself what I should be doing with my own situation. thanks! happy new year
hope that it’ll bring what you need most.
I completely understand.. i’m going through it now.
the way you describe pride makes it seem like a 4 letter word. stick up for yourself but be wary of how much ‘power’ your giving yourself. i used to have that mentality, of doing what i wanted and when i wanted. its fun but it tires after awhile and (in my experience anyhow) it gets lonely.
forget him. im here.
@CaKaLusa - lololol. sounds like a guaranteed upgrade.
@XoAsianBabioX - damn skippy!
that’s what happened to me.but we’re back together now.good you’re staying strong.
Good for you… lot of other fish out there… Ok, with you a great 2010..
just another lesson learned, right? never compromise yourself.
I love how strong you are!
It’s like one of my friends once told the other – “Have pride in your pride”.
“I used to be a very prideful person, and I took pride in that….”That’s cute. =)
I don’t think there is any need to be attach to someone else. Pride, it reminds me of Saiyans. It is usually the one thing that solitary creatures share. I don’t have pride or emotions. It is simply frustrating because you get beaten when that superior person comes and stomps all over you. I take control of situations. Don’t let your emotions tear you apart. Get over the loss of someone not worth it.
@ShallowGraveDigger - DBZ references FTW.
i feel your pain.. why cant people just be more straight forward and stop beating around the bush right.. its like if you got something to say.. say it.. dont give cold shoulders or whatever to give “signals” Dam it! just say it! haha. I think you are doing a good thing.. best of luck!
Good for you. Personally, I been through a lot with this kind of stuff.. eh.. it’s tiring. It’s mentally draining and that sense of dignity not being anywhere to be found sucks. It’s best never to wait on anyone. Sounds selfish to think of yourself but when the person you are with only thinks of himself then you have no choice but to think of oneself – unless you want to lose yourself. 2 props C;
ohh time for you to have some fun then and get your power back!
amen
amen
I’m glad that you are getting things settled and doing what is best for you.