April 22, 2013

  • On Generosity

    Other than the weather and the beautiful palm trees (which I’m obsessed with by the way), I noticed another stark contrast between LA and NYC.  Stereotypically, New Yorkers are less cordial to each other than people elsewhere, and it’s true.  In LA, I had an extremely friendly and genuine conversation with my cashier at Target, while in New York, I can barley expect the cashiers to read the total at my Kmart.  

    Most notable was how people in LA treated beggars and homeless people.  On several occasions, I saw people giving bills to homeless people.  I was once stopped at a light, and the man in the car next to me whistled over the homeless woman passing by and gave her a five dollar bill.  I saw similar events like this about three or four times more during my stay.  In New York, all I see (and hear) are coins being dropped into a homeless man’s cup.  I’ve even seen a man tell a pandhandler on the subway, “Sorry, I only have large bills.”  After seeing what I saw in LA, I thought about why is there such a difference between LA and NYC?  Is it because we’re bombarded by homeless people several times a day?  Is it because we don’t trust where the money is going?  
    It’s probably a combination of things.  I think mostly people choose not to donate money because they’re worried that the money isn’t going to the right place.  Beggars in New York literally will turn away food if given to them sometimes.  A lot of them just want cash.  One man told me, “I want to buy my own food.  I don’t want yours.”  Another told me, “I don’t want to carry food because then no one will donate if they see me holding food.”  It’s so frustrating that they have this supposed dignity when they’re already begging on the street.  No one wants to donate when they think their money will be ill-used.  I understand not all homeless people are crackheads, but there is no real way to distinguish between the two.  
    Sometimes I even wonder if the pandhandlers (especially the ones on the subway) are truly financially strained.  There is specifically this one man who I encounter on the 4/5/6 train (I think he’s also branched to other lines now too) at least once a month.  Every time I see him, he’s actually well groomed.  He gives the same old speech every time, but every time I see him, he’s has a brand new pair of shoes, a nice new leather jacket, etc.  Does he really make that much money begging to afford these luxuries or are there just really really generous people?  I can’t believe that he has gotten that many donations from people consider I see barefoot individuals climbing into the trashcans, trying to hustle their way to the recycling plant.  
    The main reason I choose not to donate is the fact that in New York, we’re all a part of this struggle, some will make it, some won’t.  I get that it sounds harsh, but honestly, New York can be the land of opportunity or it can be an island that eats you alive.  My best girlfriend here lives on welfare, won a full-ride scholarship through volunteering to NYU, and now rolls deep as a successful woman on Wall St.  New York is a place where you have to prove your worth otherwise you’re not going to make it.
    And now here’s an unrelated picture of me:

Comments (10)

  • That’s true, NYC is a much harder place to live.  It’s not easy to donate, even if you want to.  Plus, is that the kinds of comments you get from beggars on the streets?  I’m probably a couple hours from you and here in CT, I donate to the homeless usually food, not leftovers or anything, like a lunch-size bag of chips to spare, or something, and they’re grateful.  This one man said he loved cheetos, so I got him a bag the next time I saw him at the end of the exit ramp, and he thanked me for remembering.But then, CT is not NYC, as New Englanders, we may not be as friendly either in CT, but then everyone isn’t all crammed up in a small area like how it is in NYC.  Roaming around NYC a good bit, there is a stark contrast.  Generosity isn’t something that can easily be put out there in NYC, because as you said, you have to prove your worth.  Plus NYC is pretty fast-paced so the act of generosity in itself tends to be not as fast-paced, or even much more mellow and slower.  Time is money, so if people don’t have the time, they don’t have the money to dish out, if that makes any sense.But wow, you brought up a good point.  I like it.

  • Btw, em rất đẹp gái (smiles)

  • Here in VA it’s the same deal.  Everyone is so nice to each other.  Strangers always wave and say hi and ask “how are you?”  Same with beggars.  I always see people donate bills, not coins.  I guess it’s because in my area there’s not as much homeless people.  I usually donate $2-5 when I come across a beggar.  I’m wondering how I’ll manage in NYC.  No one will be friendly, and I will definitely be broke if I donate $2-5 every time I see a homeless person.

  • I think in nyc there is much more affluence and people look down upon those who don’t make it much more harshly.  I agree, some people make it, some don’t in the world.  You can’t give everyone a penny.In l.a. though so many people are struggling.  everyone is, really.  the culture is different, people are more forgiving.  my husband who grew up in the l.a. area used to give homeless people $10 bills sometimes here just because.  unheard of, anywhere!

  • Back when I was in school in Philly, I encountered a number of homeless people. The problem is that I rarely carry cash on me; I rarely even carry cash now because I don’t feel comfortable doing so. Instead, when I came across a few homeless people and their signs read that they are hungry, what I do is I walk into a nearby deli and buy them a sandwich and/or I asked them first what they would like since I’m heading into a deli anyways.Here, I always come across a guy on my way to work as you described the guy on the 4/5/6 line. This guys always has on different clothes everyday and still sits outside shaking his change cup at people. I suppose that NY can give a cold shoulder feel to outsiders, but I think that at least I can change a few people’s perceptions about NYers. A woman once told me that I seemed different from other NYers because I smiled at her. I guess one small change at a time.

  • There’s not a lot of beggars here compared to the City so we are not as desensitized. In NYC, there’s a survival of the fittest and rat race mentality. Cali ppl r more chill and laid back.

  • I don’t think it’s a matter of generosity but the fact that New Yorkers are more skeptical. There was a photograph of a police officer buying new boots for a man who appeared to be homeless, but really was just a slacker living uptown in a nice apartment. 

  • I think it’s just that, the more people you cram together, the less humanity is valued.  

  • I agree, no one wants to donate to a cause in which the money is not used in a productive manner.  Personally I choose to help people because I want to.  Growing up, my family did not have a lot, and it breaks my heart to see people struggling–it could be any of us at any given time.  I don’t give to every person who propositions me because there are so many people here struggling, and impossible to help them all, but I do sometimes if I am feeling generous and have the cash to spare.

  • There are definitely fakers out there pretending to be down and out, but that doesn’t change the fact that many more aren’t.One way to help discriminate on who to give to would be based on age. Younger pan handlers have more options available to them in finding work than older ones.As you become more successful, it’s important to remember your roots – all of us can be in need of help at one time or another, so we should never dismiss those who are on hard times as being “losers” or “unworthy”. This is a major problem with “Wall Street Culture” – so many who have been given great hand outs to get where they are today now look down or even spit on the less fortunate. They preach to them to make it on their own or give up, forgetting they could very well be in the same place if not for some gracious benefactors that helped them along the way. I hope your friend who now rolls deep remembers the help she needed and avoids the Wall Street infection that plagues so many.

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