June 29, 2012

  • When You Know You’re an Alcoholic

    It’s come to my attention that I drink more often than the average person. This is how you know you’re on my level:

    1. When you fill your Brita before you leave and put it next to your bed with a glass for preemptive hangover prevention measures. Plus when I’m drunk and thirsty, my drunkness always wins over, and I won’t want to get up and I’ll end up dehydrating.

    2. When you have a lot of broken things that have no explanation to why they’re broken. For example, last week, I ruined the zipper to my favorite shorts. I am a bit distraught about it.

    3. When all social events are initiated with the phrases “Happy hour?” or “Let’s drink!”

    4. You’re the mayor of a bar on Foursquare. You are reading the blog of the mayor of KTown Bar.

    5. When two of your friends become acquainted with each other, and one tells the other that he doesn’t drink, and she says, “How are you even friends with Mary then?”

    6. When your friend hits you up on Facebook chat at 1AM with “OMFG you’re home?”

    7. When you’re actually not home when they send that message.

    8. When people don’t ask you how your weekend was. Instead they ask, “What bar did you go to this weekend?”

    9. When you’ve gone to work hungover more than three times in the last month.

    It’s a problem, but YOLO.

    Needless to say, I’m heading out now to get my drink on.

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