March 31, 2012
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Girl Code and Being the Grenade
It’s inherent in girl code that you’re required to be the cockblock for your inebriated friend. She’s drunk, she doesn’t know what she wants, and the sex probably will be sloppy and gross anyway. But the thing is, if you’re the cockblock, you CANNOT be the grenade as well. Grenade can be defined as the girl who is ugly, fat, or both that the wingman has to entertain for his bro. The thing is, if you’re both, you’re wasting away the efforts of the innocent wingman, and his friend probably will have to owe him immensely and he still won’t get any. You’re wasting everyone’s night.
I tend to roll with a bunch of guys, because they enjoy my company. I’m not dtf, so I usually just end up watching them trying to get with the next girl. Last night I went out with a bunch of my friends, who happen to be “frat” guys, (quotes because frats are retarded at NYU) and their brothers. My friend has been trying to get with this girl for a long time now, but all efforts are to no avail due to her fatass, loudmouth, controlling friend, who will be referred to as the fatass friend for the remainder of this post. So my friend has been chasing after this girl for quite some time, and everyone knows. While I don’t particularly agree with how he’s going about it (he wants to get her drunk so she’ll be more open to sleeping with him) this post is about the fatass friend. The girl does like him back, but the fatass friend continually wastes EVERYONE’s time.
So we’re at this party, and the girl gets pretty drunk, and some of the guys want to roll out to the bar. I tag along with my other girlfriend, and obviously girl and fatass friend also come along. Fatass friend was being a superb cockblock and made us wait an hour before we could get into a taxi to head to the bar. My friend is trying all efforts to get girl to come with us. We eventually get there, and fatass friend immediately tries to remain in the spotlight, even though the girl is passed out on the table looking like she’s about to throw up. Girl code says you ditch whatever you’re doing to take care of your drunk friend, especially since the fatass friend was being a controlling, cockblocking bitch. But nope, she goes on to flirt with EVERY GUY while they’re all thinking, “Fuck, who’s going to have to take this grenade.” I heard it all in the hour that we were waiting for them to agree to come to the bar. She was just being so obnoxious and loud. She kept saying how lucky we were to have her there because we were at a korean bar, and she’s korean. Let me tell you, I’m viet, and I can speak korean just as well as her. Anyone can say, “_____ jusaeyo.”
Anyway, she ends up taking her pick, who happens to be the cutest looking guy there. (WHICH SHOULD’VE BEEN MINE IF ANYTHING, but I was talking to this pre-med who’s going to Stanford med school, so it’s aight.) We’re at a long table, and I’m at the opposite end, and the fatass friend is feeling up the cutie, audibly kissing him on the cheek, and asking him if he has a girlfriend. All the guys on my end of the table were all like, “Oh my god, poor him. >.<" Every time the fatass friend said anything, the Stanford boy just mumbled under his breath, "Shut the FUCK up."
While that was going on, my friend was chatting up the girl, and she seemed like she was willing to go home with him. So check comes out, and everyone pays their share, except the fatass friend who actually drank most of the whiskey anyway. My other friend asked her for her share and she legit said, “No, I’m not paying.” Like really, bitch? Then we’re all waiting outside for taxis. The fatass friend takes the first one without asking, and is screaming, “Where’s my friend?” Like, bitch, you were supposed to be taking care of her. Anyway, my friend and the girl were talking and being pretty touchy, and all of a sudden my friend turns around, the fatass friend snatches her and they leave.
ALL EFFORTS WASTED.
Another story of my night last night posted sometime later.
Here’s a picture of my newest addition to my bra collection.
It is also my outfit for one night at EDC.
Comments (10)
yay… i think
GRENADA! those things suck.
HAHAHAHAHA i have never had to deal with those kind of encounters although it’s funny to see and read about them
#1. Why should women have a code? It seems like something made up simply to counter guys. Now it makes me just want to say, forget the game, if we like each other, we date. But then again, I’m a tactical genius, so I don’t see why this should bother me. But it does. Everyone WANTS to get laid in this situation, so I don’t see how some over-the-table arrangement couldn’t be made. But of course, I fully realize that being social has various subtle methods in order to get things done. It is something I both love and hate at times#2. not dtf? I hope you aren’t the ONLY girl in the midst of all those guys.#3. Take no offense to this, but tell your boy to get some balls and fucking lay her without getting her drunk.#4. Grenade-big, fat, and bitchy, bound to explode at and second. all that needs to go is the pin, the pin left when the target chick became too inebriated. the shrapnel flew everywhere. Luckily, few injuries were sustained. The mission, however, was a failure. It was a long ride back to HQ that night.
lolll entertaining to read
Someone needs to call in the bomb squad.
i wish i was you.id love that much attention lol.anyway nice post.
The lace is super cute ! …. I don’t go out enough to have to face grenades, the cockblock and mother hen.
Actually I’m impressed by “The Grenade” who managed to get free drinks and land the cutest one in the group, while keeping her friend out of trouble.She actually did your friend with weak game a favor since a girl who has sex with a guy while drunk can legally claim rape later if she feels differently about it once sober. He needs to step up and rely on his own skills rather than Captain Morgan’s.Keeping “The Grenade” busy actually worked as you friends was able to be with the girl he was interested in. Now taking her home is another phase of the plan is that’s the goal. For that to happen, someone has to take the grenade home as well- it’s not just about flirting at the party/club. Now that’s a priceless wingman that’s willing to go that far.
hahhah that was amusing to read.