Yep, you know it.  My boyfriend is a mama’s boy.  Not only does that mean I’m always second in line, but it means I have to put up with his mama’s boy antics.  If you happen to date one too, here’s a couple tips.

1. Understand the ties of family.  I know how it’s like, to want to be first priority, but bumped down to second.  We all know the saying, though: family comes first.  Yeah, you’re his girlfriend and all, and yeah, you’re getting naked, getting pounded every night, but his mommy carried him in her uterus for nine months and let his whole body pass through her vagina.  So yeah, you’re second.
2. Be prepared that your privacy is shared with his mom.  Although he may not want to share, his mom will probe him for information, be it about what dates you’ve been on, if you’re on the pill, how often you have sex, etc.  And no, these are not just examples.  This is what my boyfriend’s mom knows about me.  It’s pretty humiliating, but if you can talk to her without thinking of any of these things, you’re good.  
3. He will consult his mom, not you, for every decision he makes.  Not that he won’t consider you, but his mom is the final decision.  It’s frustrating to know that all your advice might go to waste as soon as his mom opens his mouth, but he values his mom’s opinion more than yours.  Just remember, you’re the naggy girlfriend, and she’s his angel mommy.
4. Sit back, because he will know how to do chores.  This is the best part of dating a mama’s boy.  He’s used to cleaning up for his mom, doing dishes, vacuuming, making the beds, what have you.  And he somewhat enjoys doing it, because you know, he’s a mama’s boy, and he doesn’t ever complain to his mom, especially when she asks him to do something for her.  He’ll be so used to it, he won’t even mind doing chores for you. 

After two weeks, I finally have a fully furnished room.  Bed, dresser, mirror, desk, and chair.  Everything is set up, everything has a place.  It puts me at ease to finally  know I’m officially settled in.  All I’m waiting on is a futon for the living area.  We have no lighting fixtures, so only standing and desk lamps, which create nice atmosphere.  I’m overall really happy about my apartment.  My roommate and I have gone to many of our friends’ new apartments, and honestly, none compare.  With how much we pay, we really do get a lot, compared to others.  We don’t have to worry about bugs, rats, and other pests.  We have a door man, front desk, and a laundry room in the building.  We have a beautifully decorated lounge with two pool tables, three HD TVs, couches galore, free WiFi, and a gym complete with sauna.

I’m quite content.  Here’s a glimpse at my apartment, but more of me photo whoring than anything.

Because honestly, life doesn’t make sense sometimes.

1. Why men have nipples.  They don’t lactate!  They don’t breastfeed.  They don’t bear children.  Why does this exist?
2. Fat vegetarians.  Seriously.  How is this possible?  Veggies don’t have cholesterol or trans fat.  There isn’t high calorie content.  Unless your diet is all sugar, I really don’t get this.
3. How to fold fitted sheets.  You know, I try to be neat.  I like to fold things, because if not, there’s just a big ball of shit in my closet.  But fitted sheets… how do you fold those?

Just saying.

So I’m back in the city in my new apartment in FiDi.  (Don’t stalk me, please.)  Anyway, I’m having a great time in this smoldering hot city where I step outside and I sweat.  But hey, at least there’s a plethora of food options, less of a risk of getting run over, and no diarrhea running rampant.

My new apartment, my room at least, is completely bare.  I have nothing but what I brought home from China (3 suitcases of clothes).  I also left a bunch of shoes with my boyfriend, so they’re here too.  I went to Ikea, and the bed I want is out of stock, so instead of paying two delivery fees, I’ve decided to wait for it to come back in stock.  In the meantime, I’ve been sleeping in my roommate’s bed.  She has this really ghetto loft that squeaks and shakes anytime you toss or turn.  But there is something that came up.  We both wake up during the night a lot.  We don’t acknowledge it, but I know when she’s awake, and I’m pretty sure she knows when I’m awake.  However, last night, there was this constant rhythmic shaking of the bed.  She wasn’t tossing or turning, and it wouldn’t stop.  Basically, I’ve concluded that she was masturbating.  I’m absolutely sure because I looked over discretely without her knowing, and I saw her blanket moving in a telling motion and area.

I’ve decided that I’m going to go to Ikea today, and if it’s not in stock, I’m getting a futon.