September 28, 2007

• An Anniversary.

  Today, marks a year since my surgery. It was minor yet, somewhat life changing. A year ago, my body could account for two ovaries and a cyst. Now, I only have one. I also had a huuuge bulging stomach from my ten by fifteen centimeter cyst. I surprisingly had no pain from it. I remember all the pain and the morphine. I remember how much fun I thought morphine would be, but it turned out to be extremely GAY. It made me nauseous and I couldn’t keep anything down for that whole first day. Not even water. I was extremely dehydrated and hungry. So that night I decided that I wasn’t going to give myself anymore morphine. Yes, I did get to give myself my own morphine, but not as liberally as I wanted too. I had a button that allowed me to have morphine be pumped into my IV, but I couldn’t push the button all the time to have morphine flow through my veins through artificial blood hanging beside my bed.

  I remember not being nervous at all going into the pre-op. I was completely calm. It wasn’t a big deal to me. Cysts aren’t life threatening, and all my pre-op nurses who came to question me about my surgery [to double, triple, and quadruple check that I was aware of all the aspects of the surgery I was about to be put through] said that I was unexpectedly apathetic. Well, just not nervous. The nurses would come in and ask me what type of surgery I was going through, and I would answer, “A cystemectomy.” The nurses would then ask, “And…?” And I would have to respond, “And a possible ovarian removal.” After the first two nurses reacting that way, I realized I might as well say both parts the first time I’m asked by the next 2 or 3 nurses. I had alot of nurses: one to take samples of my blood, one to insert my IV, one to talk to me about my anesthetics, etc. Well, the fact that I answered ”and a possibly ovarian removal” so readily led my mom to blame me for the reason why my surgery wasn’t as successful as I wanted, and why I had to have my right ovary removed. My mom is so hypocritically dependent on fate and superstitions, as she claims herself as a devout Catholic. One of the many reasons I’ve become Atheist.

  People say that Atheists only look at God in times of need. In my time of need was when I stopped believing in God. Heh. =T

  Which reminds me. My dad’s case was officially decided today. He is no longer employed at the Post Office. If God existed, he wouldn’t have let that lying whore steal my dad’s job away from him when he is completely and utterly innocent. Especially when my family is financially unstable at the moment.

  I’ve also decided that boys my age are way to dramatic. Thus, another reason why I go for older guys.

  Wow, super long post. Well, I want to end on a happy note.

  My car is back from the body shop! I dropped it off on Wednesday to get my car fixed from when Gabby rear-ended it.

  Before:

  

  

  Also note that the hood was mis-aligned, and the left side of the hood was popped up, but I couldn’t take a picture that could portray it. Haha.

  I don’t have any after pictures! xD Just know that it’s all fixed.

  Also my coat that I ordered came in! Yay! Here’s a picture, except it looks much better on me. xD

  

  Isn’t that Danielle from America’s Next Top Model Cycle 6? ^^ I thought ANTMs become “high fashion” models, not catalog models.

  AHH. My mom is so ridiculous. She’s pissed off at my dad because it’s his fault that he got fired. She believes he’s still repenting for his sins. Aiya. I seriously dislike my mom very much. I hate her so called feelings and premonitions when something bad is supposedly going to happen. She always claims she felt something AFTER the fact and says, “It’s so weird. I should’ve said something,” every single fucking time. She’s so full of shit. Like about my rearview mirror. “I felt something. I almost called home to warn you, but I was busy.” She always happens to not tell us and regrets it. Wouldn’t she fucking learn by now?! She claims sixth sense as well. So a devout catholic believes in superstition, fate, and has a sixth sense. BULLSHIT. I can’t stand it. And she won’t accept the fact that I’m going to major in Business and that Creighton doesn’t have a business program. She calls me out in front of my dad like I actually plan on going to UNL. WHAT THE HELL?! I said that it’s my BACKUP college if I don’t get into NYU or UPenn. And she and my dad misinterpret EVERYTHING and skew EVERYTHING. And they don’t understand. They change the topic yet it’s somehow related, but has nothing to do with the argument.  Fucking shit. I’m like shaking with fury. I’m so frustrated. I’m soo pissed off at my mom right now. I just want to drive off and do something.

  So much for a happy ending.

  • 7:08 pm
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